im back again.
Recently i am getting a little blur.starting to slack in my work too. i had a lot of work today so i cant blog much. Since school lessons start i stopped my habit of onlining and watching tv everyday.

Well, im still trying to get along with my classmates. Adapting to it.
It feels so great that all my JC classmates dont have my bloglink. So i can crap about them which ever way i want. Unfortunately i dont know them well yet, so there's nothing to crap about. But my classmates are great. Except for some little problems. My relationship with friends still had a long way to go. Basically i dont think one year is enough for us to understand each other and become close friends. i probably dont make any close friends at the end of the year. But good friends maybe.My friends who know me for 4-8 years cant comprehend my thoughts. I know myself for 17 years i cant comprehend my own thoughts occasionally either. so i think one year of classmates relation is really very short.

Oh yah thanks to everybody who wished me happy birthday last time. Really surprised that many still remember it. More than i thought. It makes me feel that this year's birthday is quite different. From things they gave,I knew that the presents are choosen personally by each and everyone of my friends. Not the commonly "just throw in money and share the gift" type. ZiYi even came to my house at midnight 12am to give me my present. i really appreciate.

i had lots of homework today so i cant continue blogging now. Im now going to be the obedient nerd child. bye.

Things get better after i get to know my classmates i guessed. And,its so coincident that my OGL was from cheng san chinese orchestra too. She's now in guzheng,same as me.haha.There are quite a few interesting characters from my class. I had quite a big clique there.

i went for guzheng today with sheryl (new classmates) They throw me SYF songs directly. They said i learned fast. im happy of course, but high expectations can be the start of stress.i hoped that they dont think im arrogant or show off that kind because i was playing like nobody's business there and pulling a long face perhaps?

I will be starting normal lessons next week. Looking at the timetable, the lessons are not just long. They are mostly lectures, which i hate. i prefer a classroom lessons which i can ask whatever questions in anytime i want, or crack cold jokes whenever possible. Lectures are boring. Its the type: you want listen, listen. dont want listen, dont listen.

Yesterday i went to celebrate melody's birthday at Kgarden. I strongly feel thet this is certainly the happiest day of the whole week. After being a few days of a quiet person who hardly speak any words, i finally had the chance to talk. Now i know how does it feel to become a mute.Vent my fustrations, shout till i'm content. Going kbox or Kgarden is definitely the right place for me to release my emotions. Especially for me who have not spoken anything in school, its best to choose super high pitch or powerful rock songs. Such songs are especially made to tear my throat. super enjoyable. Wow, cool. I hope others enjoy too,especially the birthday girl! we went for dinner after that and more people came to join us.

Today we had lectures. Oh my god the english lecture is the most terrible one. We are told to write an essays of more than 400 words within 45 minutes. somemore it's argumentative essay! i have never ever written any argumentative essay before! dont even know how to start, Or if there's any format. Guess what, i only manage to write about two hundred words, and i find myself writing to the end soon! So even if i have enough time to finish everything,my essay will only be 300 words at most?!?!My mind is so blank,couldn't thought of things to write at all. I turned to my left and front. Everyone is writing so much in each paragraph! only me, the worst, 200words. I really need to admit my english is really very very bad. Maths too. Even though i can understand whatever the lecturer taught today, i'm still very slow in my work. While i was still calculating the answer for the first question, he already reviewed the answer for the question and was going to the next one. I need to revise my A and Emaths. Its terrible. I cant imagine what happen to the very minority who didnt learn Amaths. It must be hell. But seems like every students in the lecture theatre learned o level Amaths. Bio lecture was good. Interesting, no stress yet. The competiveness level there is also very high. Found many many people from so many different schools. And i heard, only the first 80 top students on estimation are able to get scholarship according to percentage. My hope is a little shattered. My confidence level seems to be falling. I heard some JC already started studying, so fast! its really very.........hard to adapt.
Am i really suitable to go to a JC?

i dont like my school that much. Yesterday was super boring. Its the longest day ever. On the first day, they talked about practices and cultures of the school. First they introduced global classroom experience. They proudly told us that their school went to 9 different countries last year. Then, here comes the boring part. 9 individual groups shared their experience in particular countries they went. Each group maybe spent 20 mins on average. So 9 groups is...... 180 mins, which mean 3 hours!?!?! Maybe its not that long but this is how i felt. I thought that it is as long as 3 hours. And plus those additional usual talks for 1st day, how long can it be? After that we have an hour of break. and another one and a half hour of break. in between the 2breaks is only one hour. -.-!

My school gaves me an impression that it is very outdoor, many events and fun activities. Its good, but it has a problem. How are we able to concentrate on our studies then, if there are so many events and activities. Seriously, i have no interest in any other things other than my studies and CCA. i am there to study.

Just the first day only, i already feel like running away from school, play truant, dont want to go back. But i decided not to appeal. i think all JCs is the same in some kind of view. Then since im so brave to choose JC instead os poly last time, i should perservere. Of course poly is good and fun, but i just need to tell myself to bear with it for 2 years. But im not very confident that i will make it to university, because i almost failed to make it for o levels. Im clear that i got a better english result due to luck and not hard work or knowledge. If its hard work i believe its only oral part and a little of essays.

A levels!!! i will be struggling and stressing up for it soon. Pray that i wont have depression.